Darth Vader
Intake Information: Client is a 45 year old male seeking therapy to help process long time estrangement from his son, along with recent reconnection that resulted in conflict. Client has regrets regarding relationship with son, as well as relationship with now-deceased wife, who passed away many years ago. Client reports feeling unsettled about approach to career, and how emphasis on this part of his life took away from ability to focus on family in the past, leading to current situation where Client feels his priorities have led him to an unhappy place. Client is single, a widower, has a son, and indicates no previous therapy experience.
Darth Vader sits on the couch across from me, an imposing figure in black full body armor with various digital dials and displays. He wears an imposing helmet and a mask that covers his face, muffling his speech.
“It goes back— huuuuh-pahhh —to when I first— huuuuh-pahhh —Padmé. We— huuuuh-pahhh—“
“I’m sorry,” I interrupt, “but I’m finding it hard to understand what you’re saying.”
“Right, sorry. I get that a lot.”
Darth Vader pushes a button on his mask, and with a hydraulic hiss it opens, enabling him to remove it, revealing his face, which is pale, hairless, and scarred.
“Please excuse the scars, I had an accident involving a river of lava when I was younger.”
“That’s quite alright,” I say reassuringly. “You were telling me about your wife, Padmé?”
“Right.” Darth sighs, and leans back on the couch. “We met when we were very young, and over time we fell in love, but there were always barriers to us being together. Our respective jobs made it very difficult. She was in politics, and I started out in the military before transitioning to work for a large multi-solar system corporation. And I should note that my company is not well liked by the general public. We’re sort of public enemy number one, actually. The Evil Empire, people call us. And with Padmé’s career in politics, we often found ourselves on the opposite sides of issues. But that’s a whole ‘nother story, we’ll get to that later.”
I nod, and reframe what Darth has just shared. “So, you met at a young age, developed a relationship, and your careers involved you being on the opposite sides of certain issues.”
“Exactly,” he continues. “And I grew to love my job. Except I hit a glass ceiling of sorts. My superiors eventually stopped promoting me, and at a certain point I had to keep my relationship with Padmé a secret from them. That’s how strong the conflict of interest was. At the same time, my boss, the Supreme Chancellor, was leading somewhat of a double life himself. Eventually he enlisted me to join him in sort of a shadow company within the organization. So I was under a lot of pressure.”
“And what was Padmé doing during this time?” I ask.
“She was concerned about me. I was a maniac, working all the time, it’s all I could think about. It got to the point where my wife, this woman I loved, I became like a stranger to her. She would complain about my long hours, and I responded with anger. Always anger.”
Darth shakes his head wistfully. “I was so quick to be angry. And the scary thing is, I liked the anger. It was like I was discovering a dark side of myself. She pleaded with me to quit my job, afraid that it was my work that was turning me into this angry person, but I wasn’t hearing it. I’m sorry, I know we’re here to talk about my son, so I apologize for the tangent.”
I lean forward at the mention of a tangent. “It’s fine, and in fact, it’s the whole point. To me, therapy is an exploration, it shouldn’t have a map. Clients will often start talking about one thing, and then a few minutes later find themselves talking about a completely different thing, and then realize they’ve gone on a tangent and want to return to the original topic. But I like the tangent. I think that the things we should talk about here aren’t always the ones we intend to talk about. So, when a tangent emerges, my instinct is to explore it, because it’s often the subject we should be talking about, even if we didn’t intend it to be. And that’s just a long way of saying, please continue.”
“Thanks. Okay, where was I?” I resist the instinct to instruct Darth as to where to pick back up, and wait for him to choose a thread.
“Right, the dreams,” he continues. “I began to have dreams that Padmé would die in childbirth. Mind you, I didn’t even know she was pregnant at the time. And my boss, the Supreme Chancellor, he started telling me about this new tech the company had developed that could save her if she was in danger. At the same time, Padmé was growing more and more alienated by my behavior, to the point where she told me she couldn’t be with me if I continued down this path. And then there was a confrontation, and her old friend Obi-Wan was involved, and we fought, and in the heat of the fight…”
Darth’s head droops and he shakes it sadly as he continues. “I struck Padmé. In fact, I thought I killed her. And that’s when I ran away. I left to start a new company with my boss, and I put the life I had led previously behind me. And eventually I discovered that not only did Padmé survive, but she was pregnant. And I have a son.”
Darth stops and sits back now, processing the feelings coming up after telling his story. I sit with him for a beat, letting things settle before commenting.
“That’s a lot,” I say.
“I know, it’s complicated,” Darth agrees. “And now we’ve finally reached the issue I came here to talk about: my son. You see, I only recently found out about him. And he was told at an early age that I was dead. So, essentially, neither of us knew about the other. And as fate would have it, recently our jobs brought us into conflict. He works at a start up, a small group of rebels who stand for basically the opposite of what my company stands for. We met for the first time recently in a work setting, and while it was a shock for me to finally meet my son, it was even more of a shock for him when I told him that I was his father.”
“How did he take it?”
Darth chuckles. “Not good. He was really mad. And not just because this was a secret that had been kept from him. I think he was disappointed and angry to find out who I was, and what I did for a living. I think, in his mind, I’m some kind of villain. And of course I let my anger get the best of me, and we fought, and I struck him, and he ran away. And now you’re finally caught up.”
“Got it,” I say as I write this down in my notes. “You mentioned in your intake paperwork that you wanted to work on what you might say to him when you meet again?”
“That’s right. I need help convincing him I’m not a bad guy. Sure, I’ve done some bad things, but I regret them, and I want a another chance to be there for him, as his father.”
I nod at this, and give it a moment before continuing. “If Luke was sitting right here on the couch next to you, what would you say to him?”
“What would I say to him? Man, there’s so much…” Darth thinks about this for a moment, becoming emotional as he shares his thoughts. “I’d tell him I’m sorry I was such failure as a father. That I didn’t know about him, and things would have been different if I had. But that’s not an excuse. I let myself be seduced by my career, and I lost track of what was really important in life: family. And I hope he can appreciate that, and we can reconnect, and make up for lost time.”
Darth sniffles, tears appearing in the corners of his eyes. I reach out to push the box of Kleenex on the coffee table between us over to him, but he motions towards it and it leaps through the air into his hand.
I ignore this and focus on taking in what Darth has said before sharing my thoughts. “I have to tell you, what you just said, the words you want to say to your son… It’s beautiful.”
Darth is touched. “You really think?”
“Absolutely. I thought we would spend some time examining how you feel, then formulating a way to express this to your son, and that we might have to dig around a bit to figure it out, but what you’ve just said, it’s clear that you’ve already given this a lot of thought.”
“Thank you. Yeah, I guess I have spent a lot of time thinking about it.”
“I would suggest you take a moment to write down what you just said. Not so you can read it to him when you see him next, but so you can be clear that you’re saying exactly what you want to say, in a simple, direct way. Although that’s a picky note, because the way you just said it was perfect. But I find writing things like this down can bring clarity to the emotions that sometimes make things blurry.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Darth says, contemplating.
I sneak a glance at the clock. “Now, we’re just about out of time for today. Do you know when you’ll see your son next?”
“I’m not 100% sure, but I suspect his company is planning a surprise pop-up at a larger event we’re hosting. So, I suspect I’ll be running into him then. In fact, I hope I do.”
“That’s great. Not just the fact that your work might bring you into contact with your son, but that you hope you see him. Hope can be a very powerful thing.”
“Yes, I agree. It seems I have a new hope. Thank you for your guidance.”
“My pleasure,” I say.
Darth puts his helmet back on with a snap and a hydraulic hiss.
I cross over to the office door and open it, revealing two soldiers clad in white armor and masks, standing at attention.
Darth is already up and striding towards the door.
“Contact the Star Destroyer and— huuuuh-pahhh —alert them to prepare for my arrival,” he says as he exits, his voice sounding much more authoritative now.
He exits, and I close the door behind him, then sit down to write up my notes.
Clinical Notes: Client presented with a pensive affect, having put a good deal of thought into how he wants to communicate feelings to estranged son about their relationship history and current conflict. Session began with a great deal of backstory involving wife and their relationship that informed current relationship with son. Client showed the ability to clearly share the things he wants to tell his son, and Therapist supported Client in this desire. Client observed that he felt hopeful about the chance to repair relationship with son.
Diagnosis:
Z62.820: Parent-Biological Child Conflict
Z56.9: Other Problems Related to Employment
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